What exactly is it about pregnancy that makes us females believe we can be Wonder Woman? I really believe our hormones must give off some strange signal that misinforms our brain into thinking we’re capable of doing the impossible! Here I am, in my last trimester, and I’ve been told over and over to ‘take it easy’ and take care not to do too much, lift heavy objects, work too hard…you get the idea. Yesterday I decided I was going to go grocery shopping. Sounds simple, right? Well, if you know me at all, I grocery shop the way my parents do….as though I’m preparing for a nuclear disaster. There really is no trip to the store where I end up with just a gallon of milk or a loaf of bread. And I really wanted to do the shopping trip of all shopping trips….Wal-Mart Super Center! I really don’t go all that often, as most of our produce and meats come from Kroger or Publix, but we tend to stock up on pantry items, toiletries, and other household goods from Wal-Mart and it was time for one of those trips. Eric had an autocross and I thought I’d be independent and handle this myself.
Boy, am I stupid.
The trip started off quite nicely. This is a newly remodeled Wal-Mart and very few people know about it, so I mostly had the store to myself. I actually had a little extra energy. I started chunking items in my car, left and right. If I saw something heavy I wanted, I just bent over and picked it up. Why not? Somewhere between the frozen foods and the lunch meat, I started notice that it was about a hundred and fifty degrees in the store. Why in God's name am I so hot?? I just kept shopping. My shopping cart got heavier and harder to maneuver. I continued to bend over and hoist big items into my cart. Boy, my back is killing me. Sweat started dripping down my back and I was feeling downright dizzy. But I still had items on my list. Then I knocked over a shelf of about 19 bags of rice. So I bent back over and picked up each one of them. With each bag, they started to seem farther and farther away. I kept wondering if it was worth it to pick them up. Man, it sure is hot. Then my feet started to swell. Then my ankles. My back hurt. My hips hurt. My head hurt. And I just kept sweating! At one point, with my cart completely full, I actually considered standing there in the middle of the store, bawling my eyes out and yelling at the top of my lungs ‘I want my mom!’
Boy, am I stupid.
The trip started off quite nicely. This is a newly remodeled Wal-Mart and very few people know about it, so I mostly had the store to myself. I actually had a little extra energy. I started chunking items in my car, left and right. If I saw something heavy I wanted, I just bent over and picked it up. Why not? Somewhere between the frozen foods and the lunch meat, I started notice that it was about a hundred and fifty degrees in the store. Why in God's name am I so hot?? I just kept shopping. My shopping cart got heavier and harder to maneuver. I continued to bend over and hoist big items into my cart. Boy, my back is killing me. Sweat started dripping down my back and I was feeling downright dizzy. But I still had items on my list. Then I knocked over a shelf of about 19 bags of rice. So I bent back over and picked up each one of them. With each bag, they started to seem farther and farther away. I kept wondering if it was worth it to pick them up. Man, it sure is hot. Then my feet started to swell. Then my ankles. My back hurt. My hips hurt. My head hurt. And I just kept sweating! At one point, with my cart completely full, I actually considered standing there in the middle of the store, bawling my eyes out and yelling at the top of my lungs ‘I want my mom!’
Would anyone have noticed? It’s Wal-Mart, so no, probably not.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait too long in line. But still, I had to load each bag into my cart and then haul it out to my car. And the heat was just unbearable when I got outside. I felt like I was standing on the equator as I once again, bent over and hoisted more items…one…at…a….time….into…..my…..car. I couldn’t wait to get behind the wheel and crank on the air conditioning full blast and get the heck out of the parking lot. It occurred to me on the way home that my problems were only half over. You see, our garage is located on the basement level of our house. And that meant I was going to have to drag every one of those bags upstairs. This was not making me feel much better, but I didn’t have much of a choice. As I drove through the neighborhood, I couldn't help but notice all the jolly people walking their dogs, smiling and laughing...kids playing in the street. It was the first really warm, pleasant weekend we've had this year. And everyone looked so doggone happy while I was brushing sweat off my forehead with my fists clenched on the steering wheel, all while biting my lip to keep from yelling obscenities out the window, my clothes so soggy you'd think I'd just completely a marathon. I finally got into my driveway and started once again with the lifting and the hoisting and the sweating and the swelling. I could barely see straight when I was finished. But then it was all over. And I ran to the bedroom as fast as my swollen feet would carry me and stripped myself of my sweat-soaked clothes and put on some something cool and comfortable, got myself a cold drink and passed out on the couch for a couple hours with my feet elevated (which were now so swollen, they resembled sausages). And I slept hard!
Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait too long in line. But still, I had to load each bag into my cart and then haul it out to my car. And the heat was just unbearable when I got outside. I felt like I was standing on the equator as I once again, bent over and hoisted more items…one…at…a….time….into…..my…..car. I couldn’t wait to get behind the wheel and crank on the air conditioning full blast and get the heck out of the parking lot. It occurred to me on the way home that my problems were only half over. You see, our garage is located on the basement level of our house. And that meant I was going to have to drag every one of those bags upstairs. This was not making me feel much better, but I didn’t have much of a choice. As I drove through the neighborhood, I couldn't help but notice all the jolly people walking their dogs, smiling and laughing...kids playing in the street. It was the first really warm, pleasant weekend we've had this year. And everyone looked so doggone happy while I was brushing sweat off my forehead with my fists clenched on the steering wheel, all while biting my lip to keep from yelling obscenities out the window, my clothes so soggy you'd think I'd just completely a marathon. I finally got into my driveway and started once again with the lifting and the hoisting and the sweating and the swelling. I could barely see straight when I was finished. But then it was all over. And I ran to the bedroom as fast as my swollen feet would carry me and stripped myself of my sweat-soaked clothes and put on some something cool and comfortable, got myself a cold drink and passed out on the couch for a couple hours with my feet elevated (which were now so swollen, they resembled sausages). And I slept hard!
I learned a very important lesson that day: Never again will I be making a trip to Wal-Mart Supercenter by myself before the baby is born. And I guess I got some blog material out of it, so not all was lost.
Evie, you crack me up! I had a similar experience when I was very pregnant. I went to Wal-Mart about two days before I was due to be induced. I spent over $200 on food thinking I wouldn't have to go out after the baby was born!
ReplyDeleteI was wiped out...$200 worth of food, 9 months pregnant...disaster!
Keep on truckin', girl, you're almost there!